Spam, and inner silence

So, I suppose I have moved up in the blog world. Since September, I have received no fewer than 20 spam comments (all deleted before they could be made public). That my blog receives enough hits (and I believe it is listed at Blogger.com) to have so many comments should be a good thing, but it really only annoys me. Not so much just because it is spam, but I feel that spam is a really good representative of how difficult it is to find a place where there is silence. It is not just the spam itself that is the problem... rather is is merely a symptom of the problem. As CS Lewis, through the character of Screwtape said, "We will make the whole universe a noise in the end" and by making the whole world noise at the end, one is unable to listen for the voice of God.

Busy-ness does not equal action. Neither does being completely still, and listen for God speak in ones heart equal inaction. The person who has to just "stay busy" is no more active than the nun who practices contemplative prayer and Lectio Divina and who spends her days in the convent. And while fears and worries do still enter the convent (and actually, I have been warned that should I join a convent, I will be tempted more in there than I am here... which makes sense, in that the closer I am go God, the more Satan wants me back), in having space where one can encounter God, and hand any temptation and fear over to Him, I will be at least better equipped to deal with such things..

In any case, I cannot go out into public without seeing, and hearing, people caught up in the cares of the world (and I am guilty of this one, too), worrying about tomorrow, about health issues, about family members who are estranged, about work, about... well, worry, worry, worry.

And to that, I have to say, "Who by worrying can add a moment to their life?" And actually, it has been shown that chronic stress can shorten life-spans, so not only does worry do nothing about lengthening one's life, it can cut it short. These fears are expressed with the back drop of running cars, radios, TV, and other noisemakers. And I don't know about others, but as for me, I have a very low tolerance to noise and distractions. And that is when my own worries and fears and fallen humanity really takes hold. And why shouldn't it? Noise blocks out the voice of God, in whom I find my rest.

I do understand the resistance to silence, though, and for so long, I was not very thrilled with the idea myself. I have been told that in silence, there are only two people to keep you company; yourself and God. And as much as it is somewhat frightening to face God in such an intimate manner, it is even more frightening and depressing and uncomfortable in facing my own faults and fallen humanity. But it is in facing those aspects of myself, and in revealing them to God (not that He doesn't already know how numerous my faults are), He allows many graces to be granted to overcome such failings.