Thanksgiving

And how could I even thinking about being thankful with everything hurting so badly, and I really don't know up from down, or left from right (thanks busted up propriocence!  See, starting already), and get motion sickness just being perfectly still.  And I suppose I could be justified in not being thankful, but it would intellectually dishonest and untruthful to say I had nothing to be thankful for.

I am thankful for my family.  Yes, they drive me to the point of insanity and back from time to time, but isn't that what family is for?  I am thankful that they are trying to understand my new reality (and don't blame them for not understanding something they don't go through on a day to day basis).

I am thankful that I have a great opportunity to deepen my faith in the midst of all of this tribulation.  I pray that I am able to follow God's will, no matter where it leads.  I know that my own will does not always want the best for me, or cannot see the best for me, since I am but a finite being, and cannot consider other possibilities, it does not always seem that His way is best, but I am thankful that I, at least sometimes, have the faith to let Him lead the way.

I am thankful for those that I am in contact with regularly church, who do everything they can to not single me out, but do everything to not put undue stress on me, whether physically or emotionally.  They constantly show the face of Christ to me, and they treat me as if I bear the face of Christ.  I have never heard "but you don't look sick" from anyone at church, and I have the sneaking suspicion they understand that sometimes the worst suffering is not seen by others, as that is how I am treated there.

I am thankful that I am able to still go to school.  I feel terrible most of the time, and I am unsure how I am physically able to make it, and still make the grades I do, but I know that I am blessed that I am even able to go in the first place.  

I am thankful for music, and especially for those that I get to meet in my pursuit of proficiency at the church organ.  My organ teacher does treat me a bit more of a hero than I know that I am (she was telling a fellow student that I deal with more pain on a day to day basis than most people do in their lifetime and I still am on time to all lessons... but my only other choice is to just never get out of bed), but she is great in working with my own individual weaknesses and strengths.  My choir director and voice teacher are both wonderful to work with, as well.

I am thankful for priests who sympathize with how awful I feel most days, but who also will not let me stay in my pity party, and remind me that whether I am sick or not, I am still alive, so I have much more living to do.

While these are in no particular order of "thankfulness", I did save the best for last.  To my best friend E, he have been such a wonderful blessing to me.  He doesn't try to do everything for me, but he's such a big help when I am in need.  I can tell him the worst of my thoughts and faults, and he doesn't blink an eye.  He, more often than not, will actually laugh, because he probably was just thinking the same thing.  I am so, so, SO thankful that he is in my life, and I know that God gave us as gifts to each other.